The husband had just finished reading a new book, 'YOU Can BE The MAN Of  YOUR HOUSE'.   He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a  finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I  AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet  meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a  sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go  upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want. After that, you are  going to draw me my bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me  dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then  after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"  His wife replied, "The fucking funeral director would be my guess." 
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