**American Kids: Move out when they're 18 with the full support of their parents
**Greek Kids: Move out when they're 28, having saved for that nice house and are a week away from getting married...unless there's room in the basement for the newlyweds.
**American Kids: When their Mom visits them she brings a nice bundt cake and you sip coffee and chat.
** Greek Kids: When their Mom visits them she brings 3 days worth of food and begins to immediately tidy up, dust, do the laundry or rearrange the furniture.
**American Kids: Their dads always call before they come over to visit them and its usually only on special occasions.
** Greek Kids: Are not at all fazed when their dads come over, unannounced, on a Saturday morning at 8:00 and starts pruning the fruit trees. And if there are no fruit trees, he will plant some!
**American Parents: You can leave your kids with them and you always worry if everything is going to be ok plus you have to feed them after you pick them up.
** Greek Parents: No problem, leave your kids there and if they get out of line your parents can set them straight...plus they get fed.
**American Kids: Always pay retail and look in the yellow pages when they need something done.
** Greek Kids: Just call their dad or uncle and ask for another dad's or uncle's phone number to get it done...cash deal, knowwhatImean?
**American Kids: Will come over for cake and coffee and get only cake and coffee, no more.
** Greek Kids: Will come over for koulourakia and coffee and get salad, feta, bread, few bottles of wine, a choice of two meats, potatoes, a nice dessert cake, fruit, coffee and a few after dinner drinks...time permitting there will be a late lunch as well.
**American Kids: Think that being Greek is a great thing.
** Greek Kids: Know that being Greek is a great thing.
**American Kids: Never ask the reason you have no food.
** Greek Kids: Are the reason you have no food.
**American Kids: Will say 'hello".
** Greek Kids: Will give you a big hug and a kiss, pinch your cheeks, and pat you on the back.
**American Kids: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
** Greek Kids: Call your parents Thea and Theo.
**American Kids: Have never seen you cry.
** Greek Kids: Cry with you.
**American Kids: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
** Greek Kids: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing and just being together.
** American Kids: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
** Greek Kids: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
**American Kids: Know a few things about you.
** Greek Kids: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
**American Kids: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
** Greek Kids: Will kick the whole crowds' ass that left you.
**American Kids: Would knock on your door.
** Greek Kids: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
**American Kids: Are for a while.
** Greek Kids: Are for life.
**American Kids: Will ignore this.
** Greek Kids: Will forward this.
Showing posts with label Greek Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Greek Jokes. Show all posts
Monday, May 14, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
You know you're Greek when...
1) You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.
2) Your uncle owns a restaurant, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo.
3) You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro.
4) Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
5) You have a relative that has done something that required the IRS to threaten him.
6) Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
7) You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 dance clubs.
8) Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just Do Me" tank top to Wasaga.
9) At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.
10) All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.
11) A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.
12) You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
13) If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his mother had an affair.
14) There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.
15) You netted more than $50,000 on your baptism.
16) At some point in your life, you waited tables.
17) 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Embros" when answering the phone.
18) You are an adult and are forced to be with your family at 12 midnight on New Year's Eve.
19) Upon meeting another Greek, one of your first questions is, "what church do you go to"?
20) Your grandmother/mother/aunt has a miracle cure for every ailment under the sun.
21) You can name any or all of the gods on Mount Olympus.
22) Your mother or father still feel the need to tell you, "katse kala" in public.
23) You have been hit with a "pandofla" or a "koutala" or a "lourithi".
24) You can dance the kalamatiano, tsamiko or zebekiko without music.
25) You or a family member have been photographed with a donkey.
26) You must name your children after your parents, grandparents, or in-laws.
27) You have at least 5 Maria's, 9 Dimitri's, 5 Niko's, 6 George's and 4 Yanni's in the family.
28) You have ever heard the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo sou".
29) Your parents have ever made up the name of a street or store or tv show because they couldn't remember it or pronounce it.
30) Upon meeting another Greek you try to find out what village they're from.
31) You have ever been threatened by a Greek School Teacher.
32) You still get threatened by a Greek School Teacher even though you're 30 yrs old.
33) You have been spanked by your friend's parents because your parents gave them permission to.
34) You have a bottle of OUZO in your house right now.
35) You know what a "komboloi" is.
36) You know how to work a "komboloi".
37) When you were younger and going on car trips you always had to sit on someone's lap in the front or back seat.
38) You were ever threatened to be eaten by the "mavro pontiki" when you were little.
39) Someone in your family owns or works in any type of restaurant.
40) You are surprised to learn that the local pet store does not sell goats.
41) You can't understand why McDonald's rejected your idea for the "McFeta" Burger.
42) Your entire house is a needlepoint warehouse!
43) You eat Vanilla with a spoon from the jar.
44) You have at least 2 kitchens in your house and a lamb roaster in your backyard.
45) Your parents keep the unclaimed $$$$$ in old moth ball smelling coat pockets.
46) At Weddings the karta (card) is determined on the amount of food, the type of band, if the couple is Greek and whether you are convinced the marriage will last.
47) You make up your own Greco-American language :For e.g. Carro (car), Moovare (move), Wassemassini (washing machine), bassi (bus).
48) You can always go to yiayia or papou to curse out your parents and all they do is soothe you and feed you karpouzi.
49) You have been given the evil eye by your mother in public and/or the biting of the forefinger knuckle.
50) You were the first one to get cable on your block, but the last to have it legally.
51) You dread kissing everyone at family gatherings, because you wind up smelling like armpits at the end of the night.
52) You've been embarrassed by Mom or Dad in stores because they expect the Greek discount and ask to waive the tax if they pay in cash.
2) Your uncle owns a restaurant, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo.
3) You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro.
4) Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
5) You have a relative that has done something that required the IRS to threaten him.
6) Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
7) You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 dance clubs.
8) Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just Do Me" tank top to Wasaga.
9) At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.
10) All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.
11) A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.
12) You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
13) If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his mother had an affair.
14) There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.
15) You netted more than $50,000 on your baptism.
16) At some point in your life, you waited tables.
17) 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Embros" when answering the phone.
18) You are an adult and are forced to be with your family at 12 midnight on New Year's Eve.
19) Upon meeting another Greek, one of your first questions is, "what church do you go to"?
20) Your grandmother/mother/aunt has a miracle cure for every ailment under the sun.
21) You can name any or all of the gods on Mount Olympus.
22) Your mother or father still feel the need to tell you, "katse kala" in public.
23) You have been hit with a "pandofla" or a "koutala" or a "lourithi".
24) You can dance the kalamatiano, tsamiko or zebekiko without music.
25) You or a family member have been photographed with a donkey.
26) You must name your children after your parents, grandparents, or in-laws.
27) You have at least 5 Maria's, 9 Dimitri's, 5 Niko's, 6 George's and 4 Yanni's in the family.
28) You have ever heard the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo sou".
29) Your parents have ever made up the name of a street or store or tv show because they couldn't remember it or pronounce it.
30) Upon meeting another Greek you try to find out what village they're from.
31) You have ever been threatened by a Greek School Teacher.
32) You still get threatened by a Greek School Teacher even though you're 30 yrs old.
33) You have been spanked by your friend's parents because your parents gave them permission to.
34) You have a bottle of OUZO in your house right now.
35) You know what a "komboloi" is.
36) You know how to work a "komboloi".
37) When you were younger and going on car trips you always had to sit on someone's lap in the front or back seat.
38) You were ever threatened to be eaten by the "mavro pontiki" when you were little.
39) Someone in your family owns or works in any type of restaurant.
40) You are surprised to learn that the local pet store does not sell goats.
41) You can't understand why McDonald's rejected your idea for the "McFeta" Burger.
42) Your entire house is a needlepoint warehouse!
43) You eat Vanilla with a spoon from the jar.
44) You have at least 2 kitchens in your house and a lamb roaster in your backyard.
45) Your parents keep the unclaimed $$$$$ in old moth ball smelling coat pockets.
46) At Weddings the karta (card) is determined on the amount of food, the type of band, if the couple is Greek and whether you are convinced the marriage will last.
47) You make up your own Greco-American language :For e.g. Carro (car), Moovare (move), Wassemassini (washing machine), bassi (bus).
48) You can always go to yiayia or papou to curse out your parents and all they do is soothe you and feed you karpouzi.
49) You have been given the evil eye by your mother in public and/or the biting of the forefinger knuckle.
50) You were the first one to get cable on your block, but the last to have it legally.
51) You dread kissing everyone at family gatherings, because you wind up smelling like armpits at the end of the night.
52) You've been embarrassed by Mom or Dad in stores because they expect the Greek discount and ask to waive the tax if they pay in cash.
English Translation for Greek Sayings
Slow the chandelier = Siga ton polielaio
- Are you working me? = Me doulevis?
- You changed my lights = Mou allaxes ta fota
- Slow the cabbage = Siga ta lahana
- Welcome to my balls = Kalos ta arhidia mou
- Come the angry to chase the quiet = Hrthan ta agria na dioxou ta hrema
- Important the cabbage = Spoudaia ta lahana
- They did her from hand = Tin ekanan apo heri
- Welcome my eyes the two = Kalos ta matia mou ta dio
- You will Fart my balls = Tha mou klasis ta arhidia
- Better five and in hand than ten and waiting = Kalio Pente kai sto heri para deka kai sto perimene.
- It says = Lei
- I've played them = Tous Epexa
- I made her lottery = Tin ekana lahio
- I stayed bone = Kokalosa
- Like the rain = San tin vrohi
- It happened the come to see = Egine to ela na dis
- Like the unfair curse = San tin adiki katara
- Something's running down to the gypsies = Kati trehi sta guftika
- It didn't sit on us = Den mas ekatse
- He gives her to me = Mou tin dini
- It brakes her to me = Mou tin spai
- Who pays the bride. = Pios plironi tin nufi?
- I don't know what is being done to me = Den Xero ti mou ginetai
- I don't know Christ = Den xero Hristo
- He doesn't have Christ = Den ehi theo
- Like the cold waters = San ta kria nera
- I came out of my clothes = Vgika apo ta rouha mou
- It rains chair legs = Vrehi Kareklopodara
- Hairs curly = Trihes Katsares
- I don't have face to come out in society = Den eho moutra na vgo stin koinonia
- How from here morning morning? = Pos apo edo proi proi?
- Glass the situation = Tzami e upothesi
- I see it pale = Ta vlepo thola
- You are for the festivals = Eisai gia ta panigiria
- I don't chew = Den Masao
- Does the goat chew taramas? = Masai e katsika tarama?
- Coffee pots are we gluing? = Mprikia Kolame?
- Marrows drums = Kolokithia toubana
- Marrows with the origan = Kolokithia me rigani
- I made them salad. = Ta ekana salata.
- I made them sea = Ta ekana thalassa
- I have spit them = Tous eftisa
- Carpet I will become to step me = Hali tha gino na me patas
- Holy Mary's eyes = Tis Panagias ta matia
- I take them to the skull = Ta exo pari sto kranio
- Whatever you remember you are glad = Oti thimasai herese
- Are you asking and the change from over? = Mou zitas kai ta resta?
- Glass! = Tzami!
- We drank him = Ton ipiame
- We confused our thighs = Mperdepsame ta mpoutia mas
- He farted me = Me Eklase
- Of the gay = Tou pousti
- She's taking him = Ton pairnei
- Your bad the weather = Eisai mi xirotera
- With this side to sleep = Me afto to pleuro na koimasai
- I am dogbored = Skulo Variemai
- We did black eyes to see you = Maura matia kanamai na se doume
- Like the snow = San ta hionia
- He made us the three two = Mas ekane ta tria dio
- You are a shopping = Eisai psonio
- Shit and from shit = Skata kai aposkata
- You reckon without the hotel owner = Logariazeis horis ton xenothoxo
- The madness doesn't go to the mountains = H trela den pai sta vouna
- Better your eye goes out than the name = Kalio na sou vgi to mati para to onoma
- Will I take out the snake from the hole? = Ego tha vgalo to fidi apo tin tripa?
- He sleeps with the hens = Koimate me tis kotes
- He stuck me to the wall = Me kolise ston toiho
- I'm sitting on ignited coals = Kathomai se anamena karvouna
- From here go and the others = Apo do pernane oloi
- You will eat wood = Tha fas xilo
- Don't ask me for the change = Min mou zitas ta resta
- He sat me on my neck = Mou katse ston laimo
- I balded! = Karafliasa!
- You balded me! = Me karafliases!
- You ate my ears = Mou fages ta autia
- Has the weather turnings = Exi o kairos gurismata
- Don't do the duck = Minkanis tin papia
- I have you in OPA OPA = Se exo sta OPA OPA
- Are you working me? = Me doulevis?
- You changed my lights = Mou allaxes ta fota
- Slow the cabbage = Siga ta lahana
- Welcome to my balls = Kalos ta arhidia mou
- Come the angry to chase the quiet = Hrthan ta agria na dioxou ta hrema
- Important the cabbage = Spoudaia ta lahana
- They did her from hand = Tin ekanan apo heri
- Welcome my eyes the two = Kalos ta matia mou ta dio
- You will Fart my balls = Tha mou klasis ta arhidia
- Better five and in hand than ten and waiting = Kalio Pente kai sto heri para deka kai sto perimene.
- It says = Lei
- I've played them = Tous Epexa
- I made her lottery = Tin ekana lahio
- I stayed bone = Kokalosa
- Like the rain = San tin vrohi
- It happened the come to see = Egine to ela na dis
- Like the unfair curse = San tin adiki katara
- Something's running down to the gypsies = Kati trehi sta guftika
- It didn't sit on us = Den mas ekatse
- He gives her to me = Mou tin dini
- It brakes her to me = Mou tin spai
- Who pays the bride. = Pios plironi tin nufi?
- I don't know what is being done to me = Den Xero ti mou ginetai
- I don't know Christ = Den xero Hristo
- He doesn't have Christ = Den ehi theo
- Like the cold waters = San ta kria nera
- I came out of my clothes = Vgika apo ta rouha mou
- It rains chair legs = Vrehi Kareklopodara
- Hairs curly = Trihes Katsares
- I don't have face to come out in society = Den eho moutra na vgo stin koinonia
- How from here morning morning? = Pos apo edo proi proi?
- Glass the situation = Tzami e upothesi
- I see it pale = Ta vlepo thola
- You are for the festivals = Eisai gia ta panigiria
- I don't chew = Den Masao
- Does the goat chew taramas? = Masai e katsika tarama?
- Coffee pots are we gluing? = Mprikia Kolame?
- Marrows drums = Kolokithia toubana
- Marrows with the origan = Kolokithia me rigani
- I made them salad. = Ta ekana salata.
- I made them sea = Ta ekana thalassa
- I have spit them = Tous eftisa
- Carpet I will become to step me = Hali tha gino na me patas
- Holy Mary's eyes = Tis Panagias ta matia
- I take them to the skull = Ta exo pari sto kranio
- Whatever you remember you are glad = Oti thimasai herese
- Are you asking and the change from over? = Mou zitas kai ta resta?
- Glass! = Tzami!
- We drank him = Ton ipiame
- We confused our thighs = Mperdepsame ta mpoutia mas
- He farted me = Me Eklase
- Of the gay = Tou pousti
- She's taking him = Ton pairnei
- Your bad the weather = Eisai mi xirotera
- With this side to sleep = Me afto to pleuro na koimasai
- I am dogbored = Skulo Variemai
- We did black eyes to see you = Maura matia kanamai na se doume
- Like the snow = San ta hionia
- He made us the three two = Mas ekane ta tria dio
- You are a shopping = Eisai psonio
- Shit and from shit = Skata kai aposkata
- You reckon without the hotel owner = Logariazeis horis ton xenothoxo
- The madness doesn't go to the mountains = H trela den pai sta vouna
- Better your eye goes out than the name = Kalio na sou vgi to mati para to onoma
- Will I take out the snake from the hole? = Ego tha vgalo to fidi apo tin tripa?
- He sleeps with the hens = Koimate me tis kotes
- He stuck me to the wall = Me kolise ston toiho
- I'm sitting on ignited coals = Kathomai se anamena karvouna
- From here go and the others = Apo do pernane oloi
- You will eat wood = Tha fas xilo
- Don't ask me for the change = Min mou zitas ta resta
- He sat me on my neck = Mou katse ston laimo
- I balded! = Karafliasa!
- You balded me! = Me karafliases!
- You ate my ears = Mou fages ta autia
- Has the weather turnings = Exi o kairos gurismata
- Don't do the duck = Minkanis tin papia
- I have you in OPA OPA = Se exo sta OPA OPA
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