Friends

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, But never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -
I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -
I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -
I will know you are plotting something that I just have to be involved with.

4. When you are scared -
I will rag your sorry ass about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -
I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -
Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath....
I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

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